My level of concentration is not where it needs to be this morning..I'm sitting in class literally doing not a damn thing..I have so much on my mind yet nothing at all..I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm just not feeling it..I was in a good mood when I got up this morning but I don't know what happened..I just wanna curl up in a ball and shed tears..for what? I don't know..must be a girl thing..I just don't wanna be here..I'd rather be anywhere else, hell even work..did I mention I don't have a valentine? That's nothing new though..I'm always alone on valentines day..well except last year but it started off horribly..ended with a bang though..😂😂 I just smiled..sometimes I find myself missing that kid but we were bad for each other..a fucking Pisces..picture that lol..with as much fire I have inside this Sagittarius body of mine, we would've killed each other..that was my boo though..one hell of a fuck..maybe that's my issue..I only see men as sexual objects..one hell of a role reversal right? I haven't really cared for or loved anyone since my love..idk why I can't get over it.. I'm over him but not the love..does that make sense..like I'm happy not being with him but I'm miserable without that love..I'm meant to love..I was made to love but I have no one to love..I'm ready to put in work in a meaningful relationship but I need a partner that's willing to do the same first..I'm patient but I'm getting worried..I'm still young though..sometimes I forget in just 22..I feel so much older though..having experienced love early on makes it difficult not to have it in your life..people always tell me to focus on school and a career and the love will come later but no one knows how much I crave that love..I'm at the point where I'm ready to start thinking about a family..I always say I don't want kids but that's a lie..I can't wait to have children..a boy and a girl..or 2 boys and a girl..I have to have a little mini me 💁💆💇💅👑 my little princess..little Cali..I love that name..that or Monroe..it's kinda old for a little girl though..could just name her Cali Monroe though..yea I like that Cali Monroe..
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