It's time..

I guess it's time for a new me..I've been too dependent on ppl and it exploded in a violent way recently..someone I trusted and loved like family threw me out on my ass and physically assaulted me but no one knows that last part..not that I'm embarrassed but because I was still protecting her even after everything went down..sometimes I'm the perfect person..more often than not but at least I try..it's time for a new me..I gotta do what I gotta do to make life comfortable for me..I'm 22 and I've never done anything for myself..well I have but somebody else convinced me to give that up..I'm back at square one and I'm thinking Air Force..most ppl would think I'm using the military as an escape but that's only partly true..though it would give me an escape from all this but it would give me something to be proud of..something I did..family isn't gonna be happy because they already think I'm a runner but this would give me an ability to do for me and still do things I want to in life..my mother would be mortified that I'm gonna be shipped off for war but I'm not worried about it..I want this..Somedays I get scared and change my mind but I just think about the positives..meeting new ppl, traveling, structure in my life, and some benefits..I'm not ready but I will be..